And a New Beginning for Me

Where to begin...another post I've written in my head for nine months. I always figured I would somehow go back to work once all my girls were in school.  I just never knew those 10 years at home would go in the blink of an eye.

As the time came closer for school starting, Brandon and I started talking about what I would be doing. My immediate thought was to sub and only sub at their school. However, that required me taking a three hour online class to renew my subbing certificate. Ugh. I can't begin to tell you how much I did NOT want to do that. (But at the end of those eight weeks, I felt so good about accomplishing something.)

When the principal found out all this, he called and offered me a full time kindergarten para position.  I prayed about it but knew this wasn't a good fit for me, so I told him I would be more interested in a part time para position. And then I told him about a good friend for the kdg para job. :) 

A few weeks later he called again - this time with a part time as a sped para. And my heart beat a little faster. Brandon and I prayed about it, and when I met with him, I shared my heart that I would like to sub, too.

He was fully on board. I felt like I had landed an unbelievable job. I was at my girls' school everyday from 8:45-12:45. Once my class was completed, then I subbed occasionally, too. My day consisted of spending time with my "sped" kids helping them keep up in class. I was in 4th grade writing, kdg, reading with my 1st grader and kindergartner, some time in 2nd grade, and then I wrapped up my day with 5th graders in math. I loved the variety; I loved seeing teachers teach; I loved being a part of something in a school; I never had recess or lunch duty. I LOVED seeing my girls throughout the day. I felt spoiled.

I won't lie and say everything was perfect; there were days I wish I had 7 hours to myself at home. At the beginning of the year I grieved a bit; I just wanted two weeks at home to get all sorts of projects accomplished without interruptions. I missed going to my lady's Bible study that I had been apart of for several years. 

I struggled with being a "working" mom and not feeling guilty about it. But I will never forget a couple of things Brandon said that have stuck with him. I got my W2 for taxes and saw what little I had made my first few months of working. I just had to laugh, but Brandon told me, "Be thankful you are getting paid; you'd be doing the same thing for free if you weren't working there."

And at the end of the year as  I reevaluated my time as a working mom and wondering if my mothering had suffered at all, he seemed surprised I had those thoughts. He told me there was no doubt I was where God wanted me to be.

I loved loving "my" kids. I knew many had hurts in their life, so if I could love them at school and help them, then that's why I was there.  I also wanted to help and encourage teachers along the way. This was my mission field.

So did some days get long? Yes. Did I miss time to myself at home? Yes (my two hours each day almost seemed non-existent). Did Satan plant doubts in my head? Yes. But was I where I feel like God called me to be during this season of life? Absolutely. 

And for now I am enjoying my summer knowing that next fall will be a new challenge as I take on a maternity sub job.

First day of school I made myself a "P" for Pam the Para.