A Hard Road Traveled

I want to thank everyone for their kind, encouraging words and prayers. They mean a lot to me!

Last Monday I took Sadie in for another appointment. This time we were finally able to see our pediatrician. I asked her for her advice on traveling with Sadie. She gave me her blessing, so that was a step in the right direction.
We were then supposed to go see the pulmonologist two hours away, but I called ahead to let him know Sadie was sick. We rescheduled, and I think that was a blessing in disguise.
This gave me a day at home to do laundry and begin the packing process. There was no questioning of whether or not I would go back home for the funeral. It was a matter of deciding how and who all went. And really, once we looked at the costs of flights, that wasn't even an option.
We had willing families to take in the older girls so Brandon, Sadie and I could have a "simple" trip. I went back and forth on what to do. I was sad Analise had to miss pre-school, her last night of Awana and her cousin's birthday party. Yet at the same time I knew she would love seeing her grandparents. With Brandon's encouragement, we decided to make this a family trip.
I packed up Tuesday morning, and we hit the road mid afternoon. We made it 5 hours and stopped for the night. When we travel, I try and keep a schedule as much as possible. We all slept pretty good, and the girls loved their morning swim. Back on the road for another 9 hours. It's a long trip, but the girls do amazingly well. They play some, color, and I love my ipod with kid's music. We are also very thankful for the DVD player. :)
We drove right through the city where my sister lives, so she met us for a bathroom/gas break. Though only 15 minutes, it was a treat seeing her. I don't think either of us will ever forget watching Maisie run full force into a phone booth and falling over backwards. Poor girl...needs to run while looking forward. :)
We got to my parent's house for a late, yummy supper. I got Sadie ready for bed when my friend, K, stopped by to pick me up for coffee. K, Rachel and I have been going for coffee for years. Even when I was away for college and then moved away after married, whenever I was home, we always met for coffee. I knew this time was going to be hard, but I also wanted that time with K. Time to cry, reflect and honor Rachel. We went somewhere that I hadn't been before with Rachel, and that helped some, but when we sat down we realized though the table was for two, there were three chairs. I still cry just thinking about it.
Thursday the whole family went to Kohls. It's so much easier shopping when adults outnumber the kids. :)
That afternoon I went to the viewing. I went at 3:00 and had to wait an hour and 20 minutes to see the family. I was able to visit with people I hadn't seen in years. I also got to talk with Rachel's mom and husband. It was hard seeing Rachel there in body but not in soul and spirit. My friend, K, had done Rachel's makeup and it looked great!
Thursday evening we crashed at home; I was exhausted. However, I stayed up to watch the Dove Awards. I love Christian music and never get to see the awards, so this was a treat for me. I picked 6-7 winners. :) I saw Chris Tomlin sing his newly played song that I love - I Will Rise. All week when I heard that song on the radio, I thought of Rachel and her family. The thought of reuniting with Christ and loved ones is encouraging, esp. at a time like this.
Friday morning I went to burial with K and her husband. It was a time for family and close friends. The weather was warm but windy. The pastor did a great job sharing. He talked about the graveside as a place to remember, release and rest. Each of the three children let go of heart shaped balloons that said, "I love you." After shedding yet more tears, we went to the church for a meal. It was a nice time to visit with others and share memories of our dear Rachel.
Friday evening was the celebration service. Brandon went with me since we had some great, free babysitting. :) We were dressed up and even took a two door car...a night out the two of us...to my dear friend's service. The service was hard, and I went through many kleenex, but it was also beautiful and spirit filled. We sang some of Rachel's favorite worship songs, her dad, brothers and husband all did an amazing job of sharing. The Pastor again did a great job and shared about hope. We know we have hope in seeing Rachel again. Praise God! He used verses in his sermon that Rachel had highlighted in her Bible and even told us some of the notes she had written in there. What a treasure it was to "hear" from Rachel again and also know it's something the kids can learn from their mother.
The final song was "I Will Rise" - how appropriate. We were all sitting and singing along (if one can sing and cry at the same time) when towards the end of the song when it builds, S, stood up with his arms reaching towards his Father in Heaven. It was a gripping image that I hope I never forget. We look forward to the coming day when all the saints shall be together forever. It may seem like a long time now, but we know the time is just a mist in the light of eternity.
I knew Rachel for 12 years. We met after I graduated from high school. I met her at K the same summer/fall. We all worked at the same place. I don't remember the exact details; it just seems like those two were always a part of my life. We shopped, ate out, went for coffee and always had long talks. We were all in each other's weddings, celebrated the births of all our children and could always share where we were struggling. There was always a realness with Rachel. She loved God, served Him passionately, loved her husband unconditionally and adored her three gifts - her children. Though we didn't talk on the phone all the time, we emailed, had FB and whenever we connected, it was like time had never passed. I miss that dear friend. I know I am not the only one; she touched many lives. I am just thankful that I can grieve in hope. Rachel - I miss you and love you.