Reflections on being one

Birthday Girl

Don't take away my cake!

Chocolate cake is yummy

Daddy and daughter a year ago

Sadie just a few days old

Can you believe a year has gone by? My sweet Sadie is one already! She's not the only one who feels blessed to see this day come; I do, too. I feel like God gave me another chance to live here on this earth to be the best wife I can be to a wonderful man, a Godly mommy to my three precious daughters, to love my family, serve in my church and encourage my friends.

When I think back of all we have been through in the last year, it's rather overwhelming. Sunday was an emotional day for me. It wasn't officially Sadie's birthday, but since she was born on a Sunday, I felt like I was reliving the day. I'll never forget the contractions, losing the dark fluid, telling my parents (who where there!) what was going on, finding out we would deliver in a couple of hours and quite honestly, getting fearful. I called my sister in law and got the prayer chain going. Peace then flooded my soul. My dear nurses came in to give me hugs and encouragement.

The surgery began, and I heard the most wonderful sound...Sadie's cry...and then I blacked out. Little did I know it would be the hardest 12 hours for Brandon and my family. Only by God's mercy and grace did I survive the night. The next day I remember bits and pieces...some familiar faces, eating ice chips, asking for more meds and holding my daughter for the first time...and falling asleep while she was in my arms!

A week later I came home...rejoicing to see my two daughters again, weeping that I had to leave my other daughter two hours away. It was a slow recovery on my part. I had the catheter for two LONG weeks and then the miserable stints for a few weeks longer. After those came out, I finally felt human again.

There were the weekly trips to see Sadie. I treasured the times of snuggling and "mothering" as much as I was allowed. Along with each visit came another goodbye.

After ten weeks of this, Sadie was able to come home...with all her extra baggage! I recall the monitor and oxygen days. We stuck close to home, I fed her every three hours around the clock. I remember the day I knew nursing wasn't going to do it. That was a hard day. However, it wasn't until the end of October that she had to start formula. And even to this day, she may be bottle bed, but I spoiled us. I always take her to her room and close the door. It's still "our time."

We had the weekly visits from the home health nurse...the weekly weight checks. Calories, calories, calories! Grow, grow, grow! We finally said goodbye to the monitor and slowly weaned her from her O2. At this point we began to feel more like a real family. We were able to get out more. Sadie continues to stay with me during church and Bible study. Once May is here, she can go to the nursery.

I remember being concerned when Sadie was in the NICU about how we could bond. To this day she is a mommy's girl, maybe even more so then the other two were.

To look at Sadie today (twice her birth length and ~14 lbs heavier!) one may never know her beginning. She is content, happy, crawling everywhere, eating great, and hates missing out on the excitement going on around her.

Phew, I don't know if I could do this all over again! However, we are constantly reminded of God's faithfulness and His strength to see us through when we need it.

In honor of that, we sponsored the morning part of the local Christian radio station. We thanked God for His faithfulness and for many of you who prayed for Sadie and me. May we continue to praise Him for what he has done!